I'm not an asshole... am I?

Finals are done and I'm tired. But, from the looks of things I've managed to balance my classes and job and only had to sacrifice my personal life.

Ahhhhh, my job. I'm starting to wonder if I need to look for a new one. While I enjoy my job and the kids I work with are great I'm not sure right now. I'm having "personality conflicts" with one person I work with. They seem determined to make me look bad. Its more than a little frustrating. Also one of the YCLs is leaving us and her job is open. I know if one of the people who wants it gets it I'll need to quit. Its not that he is a bad guy... its more that he has a "jock" attitude and I can't work for more than one shift at a time with him. That and he tends to be a by the book person. I never get along well with those people. They lack imagination and flexibility.

As for my personal life... sigh. I've met a lot of people recently, had a few dates, and am generally frustrated. While I've met a few people I'd like to be friends with I haven't really met anyone who really knocked me off my feet. I hope that doesn't come off as negative... I'm just looking for something very specific I guess. And, unfortunately, of the two women I've met that have peeked my interest one just wants to be friends and the other is in a relationship (along with other problems). On the good side... hmmmmmmm... well, I'm determined not to start another relationship again unless I'm sure its worth it this time. I guess thats a good thing.

November, month of suck...

So November was a crappy month. Papers galor, tests a plenty, and yes, far to many hours of work. Now its December, time to sit back, relax, pour a glass of sake and get ready for finals. Its kind of like I'm a normal person again with only a single job... creepy.

Tastes like guilt...

A Jewish favorite to be sure. Tonight is a night of misplaced guilt and odd beauty. I'm working the night shift tonight, and every time I look out the window I'm surprised. Everything is so still a looks amazing with the snow reflecting the yard lights. And the stars are so bright this far from town. Awe inspiring really.
This is off set unfortunately by some bad news about one of the kids at work. Even though I have no reason to feel guilty about the situation I do. I'm looking forward to being done school and finding a nice comfortable ER job where I don't really get to know my patients on a personal level and don't have to think about them once they are out of my unit. Honestly this isn't a problem for me normally, unfortunately some of the kids here remind me of myself at there age and it frustrates me to see them make the same stupid mistakes I did.
I am also hating the repeat feature on stereos. I have 8 stereos all playing 8 different songs over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over...

DUDE, NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It seems I am once more the only male student in my nursing class. Damn, back to being surrounded by uteruses. This also leaves me on the short end of the stick for my group paper. Double damn. Or in nursing shorthand: ++ fuckered.

So is my life.

And I'm really not making any progress on my novel, I'm going to take the stress of getting 50,000 words done this month off of me and just try to get 25,000 more done in December. Maybe finish it off over the summer or in February.

What I'm missing right now is a little table top action. I'll looking forward to getting my sunday time to game with the guys back next month. My dice have dust on them, its a little embarrassing. But soon to be rectified I hope.

Was I Stupid Or Just Lazy?

So I had a great weekend in Edmonton, thanks to Ryan and Gayleen. But the drive either way was... questionable.

On the way to Edmonton I ran into a little blizzard. No problem really. Unfortunately, the vehicle in front of me went off the road. I stopped to see if anyone was hurt, always a nurse, but no one made it. I admit I was a little upset, the driver and passenger were quite young.

On the way home I found the roads near North Battleford very icy. Now I'm a damn good driver, so either I was stupid or lazy, but for some reason I left my cruise control on. I hit a patch of ice and felt the engine rev, but was too late to turn it off. The back end of my vehicle started to spin. The ditches were dry and there were cars headed my way so I decided to slide into the ditch rather than risk rolling my top heavy vehicle or hitting an oncoming car. I turned into the spin and tapped the break to get the back end of the vehicle headed into the ditch. Then I waited until the front wheels left the highway and braked hard since I had more traction as was now headed straight backwards. A liberal application of 4 wheel drive and I was back on my way. The lesson here: Saskatchewan drivers should know better than to use cruise control on icy highways. I'll have to consider myself lazy. I knew better, I was just tired and wanted to get home. I am an arse.

Gibbons Doing It...

I'm having fun visiting in Edmonton. It been really nice to get away from school and all that jazz in PA for a couple days. Even better I got to see a live sex show today and it only cost $6.75!!

By live sex show I mean I saw two gibbons getting busy at the zoo today. I've seen monkeys get it on before but this was intense. It was like they were really enjoying performing for the crowd. It just supports my belief that being a perv is natural and there is nothing I can to about my likes. But really, who isn't a little twisted. Show me someone who isn't crazy and I will show you someone who doesn't appreciate life.

So far its been a great weekend... but I know I have to face class again on wednesday. Hopefully this recharge will carry me through to December.

I do not ever again want to work acute medicine...

I really, really, really do not want to continue working on acute medicine. Really. On the good side I only have a few shifts left. On the bad side I still have a few shifts left. Lame.

Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy working with the palliative patients. It is very rewarding to be able to help someone make there last few days as comfortable as possible. But the rest of acute medicine, now that sucks. I cleaned more poop and changed more adult diapers than... well, it was a lot. I also had a guy drop a blanket on the floor and pee on it because he didn't want to make the three metre trip to the bathroom today. And guess who had to clean it up?

Being a nurse is not glorious. No, it is not.