I'm not an asshole... am I?

Finals are done and I'm tired. But, from the looks of things I've managed to balance my classes and job and only had to sacrifice my personal life.

Ahhhhh, my job. I'm starting to wonder if I need to look for a new one. While I enjoy my job and the kids I work with are great I'm not sure right now. I'm having "personality conflicts" with one person I work with. They seem determined to make me look bad. Its more than a little frustrating. Also one of the YCLs is leaving us and her job is open. I know if one of the people who wants it gets it I'll need to quit. Its not that he is a bad guy... its more that he has a "jock" attitude and I can't work for more than one shift at a time with him. That and he tends to be a by the book person. I never get along well with those people. They lack imagination and flexibility.

As for my personal life... sigh. I've met a lot of people recently, had a few dates, and am generally frustrated. While I've met a few people I'd like to be friends with I haven't really met anyone who really knocked me off my feet. I hope that doesn't come off as negative... I'm just looking for something very specific I guess. And, unfortunately, of the two women I've met that have peeked my interest one just wants to be friends and the other is in a relationship (along with other problems). On the good side... hmmmmmmm... well, I'm determined not to start another relationship again unless I'm sure its worth it this time. I guess thats a good thing.

November, month of suck...

So November was a crappy month. Papers galor, tests a plenty, and yes, far to many hours of work. Now its December, time to sit back, relax, pour a glass of sake and get ready for finals. Its kind of like I'm a normal person again with only a single job... creepy.

Tastes like guilt...

A Jewish favorite to be sure. Tonight is a night of misplaced guilt and odd beauty. I'm working the night shift tonight, and every time I look out the window I'm surprised. Everything is so still a looks amazing with the snow reflecting the yard lights. And the stars are so bright this far from town. Awe inspiring really.
This is off set unfortunately by some bad news about one of the kids at work. Even though I have no reason to feel guilty about the situation I do. I'm looking forward to being done school and finding a nice comfortable ER job where I don't really get to know my patients on a personal level and don't have to think about them once they are out of my unit. Honestly this isn't a problem for me normally, unfortunately some of the kids here remind me of myself at there age and it frustrates me to see them make the same stupid mistakes I did.
I am also hating the repeat feature on stereos. I have 8 stereos all playing 8 different songs over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over...

DUDE, NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It seems I am once more the only male student in my nursing class. Damn, back to being surrounded by uteruses. This also leaves me on the short end of the stick for my group paper. Double damn. Or in nursing shorthand: ++ fuckered.

So is my life.

And I'm really not making any progress on my novel, I'm going to take the stress of getting 50,000 words done this month off of me and just try to get 25,000 more done in December. Maybe finish it off over the summer or in February.

What I'm missing right now is a little table top action. I'll looking forward to getting my sunday time to game with the guys back next month. My dice have dust on them, its a little embarrassing. But soon to be rectified I hope.

Was I Stupid Or Just Lazy?

So I had a great weekend in Edmonton, thanks to Ryan and Gayleen. But the drive either way was... questionable.

On the way to Edmonton I ran into a little blizzard. No problem really. Unfortunately, the vehicle in front of me went off the road. I stopped to see if anyone was hurt, always a nurse, but no one made it. I admit I was a little upset, the driver and passenger were quite young.

On the way home I found the roads near North Battleford very icy. Now I'm a damn good driver, so either I was stupid or lazy, but for some reason I left my cruise control on. I hit a patch of ice and felt the engine rev, but was too late to turn it off. The back end of my vehicle started to spin. The ditches were dry and there were cars headed my way so I decided to slide into the ditch rather than risk rolling my top heavy vehicle or hitting an oncoming car. I turned into the spin and tapped the break to get the back end of the vehicle headed into the ditch. Then I waited until the front wheels left the highway and braked hard since I had more traction as was now headed straight backwards. A liberal application of 4 wheel drive and I was back on my way. The lesson here: Saskatchewan drivers should know better than to use cruise control on icy highways. I'll have to consider myself lazy. I knew better, I was just tired and wanted to get home. I am an arse.

Gibbons Doing It...

I'm having fun visiting in Edmonton. It been really nice to get away from school and all that jazz in PA for a couple days. Even better I got to see a live sex show today and it only cost $6.75!!

By live sex show I mean I saw two gibbons getting busy at the zoo today. I've seen monkeys get it on before but this was intense. It was like they were really enjoying performing for the crowd. It just supports my belief that being a perv is natural and there is nothing I can to about my likes. But really, who isn't a little twisted. Show me someone who isn't crazy and I will show you someone who doesn't appreciate life.

So far its been a great weekend... but I know I have to face class again on wednesday. Hopefully this recharge will carry me through to December.

I do not ever again want to work acute medicine...

I really, really, really do not want to continue working on acute medicine. Really. On the good side I only have a few shifts left. On the bad side I still have a few shifts left. Lame.

Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy working with the palliative patients. It is very rewarding to be able to help someone make there last few days as comfortable as possible. But the rest of acute medicine, now that sucks. I cleaned more poop and changed more adult diapers than... well, it was a lot. I also had a guy drop a blanket on the floor and pee on it because he didn't want to make the three metre trip to the bathroom today. And guess who had to clean it up?

Being a nurse is not glorious. No, it is not.

I am a manly nurse!!

As I finished sharding out my most recent paper something occurred to me. I currently want to work in the ER (probably pediatrics specialization but you have to be flexible there), so how I ask is my knowledge of "Family Diversity" important. Its not lie we are even studying various cultures or something, no we are studying the theory of why we don't know about other families. I can teach you that as follows: everybody's family is different than yours. There, now you all own me tuition. Don't complain, I saved you a lot of time and painful boredom. And honestly, if you are in my ER, dieing, do you really care about the academic strength of my papers? Do you care if I am sensitive to how your family is unique? No. You care that I can get an IV into damn near anyone and fast, that I know about the drugs I'm giving you, and that if your heart stops I'm going to work on you until I get you back or you have been oxygen deprived for so long it really isn't in your best interest anymore. I understand that universities need to turn out students who fit the Renaissance ideal of well rounded education, but at least teach my something. Please stop making classes that take an entire term, cost me money, and just repeat on little idea over and over again. You are eating the fun from my education here!

But I digress, the point is... I don't even remember anymore. Tomorrow I have another fluff class and a craptastic huggy-feely lab. Blech!!

Some of you are asking, "But Gordon, aren't you studying for your RPN as well as your RN? Isn't family diversity and all the huggy-feely stuff relevant to that?". The answer dear reader is no. Not for me. I like acute psych, especially in the ER when they come in all strung out and crazified.

And congratulations Obama, you made history. And maybe, just maybe, today God did bless America. Here's hoping.

Getting ready for bed...

So I'm getting ready for bed and figured I should make a quick post.

I'm proud to announce I have an 88% average in Statistical Math 244. Not bad for a guy who flunked Math 30A in high school. Actually I also did really bad in Biology 30 and Chemistry 30... and now I'm a nurse? I guess it proves how useless the school system's evaluations really are.

Had classes today... BORING!! Nothing fun, just a mid-term and Stats. Not much else to say today about me.

I am looking forward to the American elections tomorrow. I'm cheering for Obama. He's no socialist (at least not as much of one as I am) and he seems to have a good head on his shoulders. That and, let's be honest, it would totally fuck with all those Dixie loving, cross burning, hatemongering, rednecks that are scared of him because he isn't white so he must be a terrorizer! HATE SUCKS PEOPLE!! It hurts you, it hurts the people around you, and it especially screws up your kids. So lets all write every American friend we have tonight and tomorrow and encourage them to pull their country's head out of its collective arse and vote for a future where you aren't evil because of your skin pigmentation or religion. I actually wish Obama was a practitioner of Islam, that would be even better. Or how about a world where people actually pay taxes according to their income, not where having money means you pay less. And finally check this one out: a society where those that have extra... share with those that don't have. But according to McCain that would be unAmerican and just plain immoral. I'm thinking these guys must read a different bible than I do.

And PS, my God did not pick G.W. Bush to kill babies in Iraq, that was his own choice.

MY SAD IS ESCAPING, QUICK GET A BAND-AID!!!

In reference to the above, my cat scratched my forearm. And you all know where the sad is stored.

Another day. Back on track with my NaNoWriMo book. WOOOOOOOOOOT!! And done work for about two weeks. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!! But still have school. Meh. Still two out of three right?

Something has come to my attention this week. I am literally old enough to be the father of all the kids I work with. I had no idea I was that old already. I, in theory, could have a 14 year-old child. How would that be a good plan? Can you seriously imagine how messed up that kid would be? Life lessons with daddy Gordon. Even worse, can you imagine how much of my money would be spent on that little snot? On the other hand... oh no, that's one reason why I don't have to worry about kids. Hands...

And get this. One of the kids at work decided to take it upon himself to give me fashion advice. He said he was concerned I'd never get a woman the way I dress. So I of course have to ask what he means by that. He proceeds to cut down every visible article of clothing I'm wearing... from my hat to the color of socks I was wearing. I'm no fashion expert, obviously, but to be criticised by a 14 year-old. It hurts dude. So next I ask what he would recommend. He felt a G-Unit sweater and maybe some Exco jeans would do the trick. That is when I couldn't stop but to laugh. And so I lost my first and only personnal fashion consultant. So is life.

F-BOMB!!!

You ever start something thinking, "Oh man, this is going to be so awesome!" only discover it REALLY isn't. I mean sure, my first novel idea for NaNoWriMo was cool, and creepy... but it was getting a little too creepy. It started to get to me a bit. I'm a bit of a character actor, and I use those same techniques when I'm writing to think like the characters in my book. Trying to get inside the mind of a cultist of Cthulu... that was freaking me out a bit. I could do it but not with how little time I have to finish this book (November 30th is the deadline). That is way to dark of a place for me to go right now for that long.
And so I start a new novel, being it is only the second day I think now is the time to change. Of course I'll save that other bit for a better time. For now I'm digging out the outline I did about a year ago for a book I'm excited I might finish. And don't worry kids, it ain't a happy trip down sunshine avenue. Its just a little less... insane?

NaNoWriMo begins...

So as of midnight tonight NaNoWriMo has begun. My novel has been started and to be honest with you is already giving me the creepy vibes. However that may just be due to the fact that I'm working alone tonight and am a little over-tired. Or, hopefully, just hopefully, my novel is going to be half-way decent. Only time, and criticism, will tell.

Well that was... special?

Wow! That was a crazy last few days. And my rotation at the hospital? It went from a 500lbs gentleman with sever scrotal edema; to an IV drug user/alcoholic who had been living on the streets who was brought in for an OD but stayed for the treatment of eczema so severe it looked like a mask (not to mention how the rest of him looked); to another gent with a tracheotomy complicated by lung infection... mucus fun! Fortunately work at the group home was slow although a new arrival always stirs things up a bit. AS for fun I took in a show by the Rosebud Burlesque Club of Saskatoon. A charitable, and tasteful, event to raise money for Breast Cancer Research. All in all a good, if exhausting, week.

And what about next week? I'm glad you asked. I've got my novel idea forming nicely for NaNoWriMo, and a trip to Edmonton to visit friends and escape the horrors of my life planned for next weekend. But I'll need to survive a couple night shifts and a week of class first. Its never easy is it?

On second thought...

Actually, considering that my book will have a Lovecraftian theme please wish me insanity.

And soon it begins...

So I've decided to join NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) this year. While I don't know if I'll have the time to write the requested 55,000 words due to the fact that November is chocked full of essays and mid-term exams I'm still going to give it a try. Who knows, maybe this will be the stress reliever I need. Or maybe I will explode in a brilliant ball of flames. Either way it will be sweet! I hope to have a fleshed out concept by wednesday for my book, and wiil be joining all the other fools on November 1st trying to sqeeze in as much writing as possible until November 30th. Wish me luck... and sanity.

So I have a blog... now what?

So now I've got my very own blog. And no real idea as to what to put in it... or why I've started it for that matter. Here is to hoping it occurs to me soon.